Tell Me I’m Being Punk’d

It’s been an hour since you went in for surgery that could save your life, and they’re telling me it’s too early to worry. It’s been two hours since your went in for surgery that could save you, and the soft music they’re pumping in is really starting to get on my nerves. It’s been three hours since you went in for surgery that could save, and I’m starting to get hungry, since we skipped breakfast to come in early, but that starts to make me feel guilty. It’s been four hours since you went in for surgery that could, and it’s getting close to lunch, so I decide to at least get a sandwich and coffee from the cafeteria. It’s been five hours since you went in for surgery that, and I’m starting to worry about who’s going to feed the dog, since I’m here with you instead of home with her. It’s been six hours since you went in for surgery, and now our family and friends are starting worry too. It’s been seven hours sine you went in for, what I’m starting to think, might be the procedure that finally relinquishes you of this life, as difficult as it’s been these past few years. It’s been eight hours since you went in, and we haven’t heard from the hospital staff once. It’s been nine hours since you went, and it’s high time you should be back by now. It’s been ten hours since you, and now we’re making jokes about that old show, saying Ashton Kutcher is going to pop out at any moment. It’s been eleven hours since, and I’m being told that it’s not okay that I’ve been sitting here this long and that I need to go to the cafeteria to eat something. It’s been twelve hours, and the hospital staff is breaking for dinner. It’s been thirteen hours, and you should have been out hours ago. It’s been fourteen, and I’m wondering if Ashton’s going to be nice, and tell us it’s all okay. It’s been, and we’re still here waiting, losing our minds, wandering the halls to find where you are under these fluorescent lights driving us quickly mad, to the point where we’re asking if the glass on the patient rooms is reinforced because the hospital used to be a sanitarium. It is, and it is what it is.